For Posterity's Sake
A Royal Canadian Navy Historical Project
STANFORGEN 501 - SNIFFLE CODE
1. Introduction - Regrettably ATP1A Vol 2 has proved insufficiently flexible in the ordering of certain operational requirements and provides no means at all for the expression of pleasure or displeasure. The various unofficial codes already in existence relate to specifically to the submarine and air worlds to be entirely appropriate to us Skimmers. The Sniffle Code is intended to fill this gap.
2. Authorization for Use - CSNFL, any division of formation commander or any commanding officer may transmit a Sniffle Code number or multiple group by voice, light, flaghoist or suffix to hard-copy signal as appropriate. Flaghoist numeral flags should be prefixed by flag ZULU. A junior may Sniffle his seniors with caution!
3. Sniffle Code - Code Number Meaning
1. You should at least try to give the impression that you know what you are doing.
2. If you think your next evolution will be equally disastrous please give me advance warning.
3. What you said is quite true but irrelevant.
4. You may not like the -----ing staff, but the staff likes -----ing you.
5. Report reason for foul-up.
6. My excuse for foul-up is:
a. Lack of preparation
b. XO's meeting
c. CO's driving
d. Finger trouble
e. Couldn't find target
f. Can't read
g. Bubble lost
h. Temporary decline in usual high standards
7. Your explanation is:
a. Unbelievable but I'll buy it
b. Lacking a certain credibility
c. Imaginative but unrealistic
8. Bubble retrieved.
9. Please speak slowly in English.
10. Let go of my ears - I know my job.
11. If you think that was bad, wait until you see me:
b. Fire guns
c. Fire missiles
d. Control aircraft
f. Launch chaff
g. Take charge
h. Desig _______________
12. Pray close the force in order that you may be identified.
13. When sailors eventually rule the world don't count on a responsible job.
16. Swords and medals on arrival.
17. See me on arrival - any rig will do.
18. Better never than late.
19. My intention is that you illuminate not ram.
20. Give up now - try again later.
21. Happiness is a private ship.
22. You should go places. Start immediately.
23. Why is it that you consistently push doors marked "Pull".
24. Don't feel too proud of that last serial. You were being followed purely out of curiosity.
25. You set new standards of mediocrity which you have just failed to meet.
26. I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant.
27. What are you waiting for.
28. The resourcefulness of you reply astounds me.
29. The officer who drafted that deserves to be on my staff.
30. Strongly advise you do not use braille for your next approach.
31. Why send a signal when you could have remained silent.
32. The fact that I may be wrong has no bearing on the validity of the decision.
33. This is a firm "maybe".
34. Things will remain much as they are or they will change.
35. Excuse me, but I fear you are making this evolution much simpler than it really is.
36. Excuse me sir, but I think you have confused me with someone who gives a damn.
37. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
38. Didn't I do well?
39. Quo Vadis.
40. VMT your offer of drinks
41. Happy Birthday! When do you open your bar?
42. I presume you got your ticket in a raffle.
43. Why me? For the last serial you could have used any fishing vessel.
44. I was unaware that medical standards have been revised. You must be blind as a bat.
45. During the last action you displayed noticeably suicidal tendencies.
46. Once again you have demonstrated a commendable ability to practice basics.
47. Apologies for making to make the rendezvous. My reason is:
a. The navigator is a turkey
b. I was doing something else at the time and didn't think you'd miss me
c. I erroneously assumed that you would be where you said you would be.
48. It's difficult to believe that you and I are operating in the same ocean.
49. Your signal DTG ______________
a. Appears to have been drafted hastily
b. Is a shining example of illiteracy
c. Does little to foster NATO solidarity
d. Is not held by this unit
e. Is held by this unit but I wish it wasn't
f. Was a crippler.
50. When we were operating rationally we also used to do silly things.
51. It's a pity that in wartime we'd be on the same side.
52. Your approach to the problem was impossible but tactically sound.
53. I need your help like a hole in the head.
54. Tracking without attacking is the commonest form of military masochism.
55. Please be gently - This is my first time.
56. After working with you I now realize why some animals eat their young.
57. My CO and XO can out drink your CO and XO.
58. When someone is as good as me it's hard to be modest.
59. Don't act so humble - You're not that great.
60. P.P.P.P.P.P.P (Piss-poor planning produces piss-poor performance.
61. Missed me again.
62. Can I go home now.
63. We may be small but we're slow.
64. My bite is worse than my bark.
65. With submarines like you I look forward to a long life.
66. OK, Skimmer-killer, could you have found me if I hadn't given you my navtrack?
67. Thanks for:
a. Your kind hospitality
b. The newspapers
c. The skin books
e. The Oporder.
68. You have been on task for hours and must be suffering terribly from crew fatigue.
69. RPC for:
a. Non cocktails
b. Pre-dinner drinks
c. Light meal and refreshments
d. Sarnies and Sludge
e. Post exercise punch-up.
70. MRU because:
a. I am otherwise operationally committed
b. I am otherwise socially committed
c. Your last trash was disastrous
d. I am unable to maintain your pace
e. I don't want to come.
a. You offer so few invitations that I can't afford to pass this one up
b. Let's do it again
c. For a short time
d. For as long as you'll have me
e. If we must.
72. Your social event was:
a. First-class, thank-you
b. Disastrous, as expected
c. One which should never be repeated
d. Most detrimental to health
e. A crashing bore. Better luck next time.
73. What can I say?
74. a. Very well done
b. Well done
c. Quite well done
d. Not well done
e. Badly done
f. You blew it
g. Don't do it again.
75. This port is:
b. Outstanding - Can we come again?
e. Only good for a storm shelter
76. Wish you were here.
77. Wish you weren't here.
78. Bet you wish you were here.
79. Glad you're not here.
80. Sentiments induced by last serial:
a. Excruciating boredom
c. Mild pleasured. Pleasure
e. Great pleasure
g. Delight tinged with anxiety
h. Anxiety tinged with terror
j. Great terror
l. I want my Mommy
m. Oh, shit!
81. If you ask me to ___________ again, I'll scream
c. Say again
82. DESIGN STANFOREN ________, AXP ______, ATP ______, etc.
a. Meant to be read
b. Meant to be used
c. Meant to be ignored
d. Meant to be read before using
e. All screwed up but use it anyway